Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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