Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So squirting runs in the family.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
