So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
