I'm going to jail i love you
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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