Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
