seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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