Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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