Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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