It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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