Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
