I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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