What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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