I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
