Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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