He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
