p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
