Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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