Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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