i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
