yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i've created a new STD.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
