I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
you never un-have a 4some
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize