scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
