At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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