You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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