apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
