He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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