that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
