Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
