we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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