i would punch a child for taco bell
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
they need to just BURY HIM!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
