Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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