Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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