we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you traded sex for a burrito?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize
