you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
