just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
