We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
