I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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