Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
