i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Can you bring me the toilet please
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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