i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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