I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She bit a glass in half.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
