Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
