their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
