a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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