That's intense
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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