i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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