Screwed.edu
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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