she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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