I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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