eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
