By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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