so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
