Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
