i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
