Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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