I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
