Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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