WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
