i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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