i can't believe i had my finger in that
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
