whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
