After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
