Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
whose parrot is this?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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