We're like a lot better than the average bears
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
