Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
